As I was waiting in the doctor’s office this morning I had nothing to read but a dog-eared copy of “Shape” magazine which was packed with fascinating workouts designed to lift my derriere. After leafing through “Shape” I started reading a brochure on genital herpes and then finally was reduced to reading the side of a box of cotton swabs.

Finally the doctor barged in and promptly kicked my foot on the side with the sprained knee. It was an accident, I think, but it really effin hurt. Anyway, after a lot of poking and prodding the doctor determined that I stretched my Medial Collateral Ligament (MCL).

Just for good measure the doctor ordered X-Rays. As I was lying on the table the X-Ray technician laid a lead sheet the size of a hand towel over my groin. I was all, “I don’t think that’s big enough.” But she zapped me with the X-Ray anyway. Oh well.

Looking at the X-Ray was pretty interesting. I think the picture must have been enlarged because my bone looked as big as the handle of a baseball bat and the knob part was the size of a Red Delicious apple. It reminded me of that caveman movie where the one dude with the big forehead gets bludgeoned with a femur.

Anyway, I don’t need surgery, thankfully. I just need to somehow find a way to ride a stationary bike. I guess I’ll call 24 Hour Fitness and see if they have a month-to-month membership. Obviously I can’t train for at least a couple of weeks which sucks.

On Saturday I injured my knee while rolling.  Basically a really big dude fell into the side of my knee during a takedown.  I heard a pop and I went down hard.  I got ice on it right away and managed to walk out of the academy but there’s something wrong in there.  I have an appointment with a sports medicine doctor on Thursday morning so maybe I’ll have some good news but probably not.  In the meantime I got a really good brace that is stabilizing my knee so I can walk around sort of.  I am totally bummed out.

I weigh 209 pounds this morning. This is the first time I’ve weighed less than 210 pounds for at least 15 years. When I started BJJ last summer I weighed around 230. Last summer I was significantly stronger in terms of “One-Rep-Max” but my overall health and conditioning is much better now. I’ve been trying to roll with the big guys and blue belts during open mat but now that I’m so svelte I might have to start rolling with the ectomorphs.

I missed yesterday’s no-gi class because I got totally jacked-up at work. I didn’t get back home until midnight. It was such a stressful day but for some reason I couldn’t sleep. I woke up at 5 am and started watching Marcelo Garcia videos on YouTube. Marcelo Garcia is the shiznit. I like his arm-drags.

Anyway, the point is I hate missing no-gi classes because I think I prefer no-gi now. It’s much faster and more fun for me somehow. But I must say, I feel sorry for the poor saps who have to roll with me because I am the sweatiest person alive. It’s weird and disgusting. I’m sweating right now as a matter of fact.

After tonight’s class I decided I’m going to avoid blogging about technique. It’s too hard to not be prescriptive, and as a white belt and all-around scrub I have no place writing prescriptively about BJJ technique. The more classes I go to the more I realize I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. And I don’t want to write something that inadvertently misrepresents Shawn or the academy.

One thing I did realize tonight is that you can transition to arm-bar from the cradle. How do I know? Because Alex arm-barred me three times tonight after cradling me in back-mount. I couldn’t really see how he did it so I’ll have to ask about it later.

When I first started going to Hollywood BJJ seven months ago Shawn Williams taught us some techniques from back mount. Back then I wasn’t writing everything down so all of that technique disappeared into the sucking vortex of my memory. Regardless, my back-mount game sucks ass, kind of like the rest of my game. I basically just try to do the collar choke or rear-naked choke. I actually can’t remember how to do collar chokes correctly but I think I have a grasp of the rear-naked choke. Luckily I think we’re going to start covering back-mount curriculum again so I can harden the many soft spots in my back-mount.

What do you do with your feet?
The last time I rolled at Minnesota Martial Arts Academy I kept crossing my ankles in back-mount. My partner would hang his calf across my ankles and it was very painful. I used to wrestle and I think the ankle-crossing habit is a hold-over from my wrestling days.

Another thing I do is get a figure-four around my opponent’s middle. Shawn showed us a counter to the figure-four that was very simple and effective. I guess the figure-four isn’t as good a technique as I thought. Also, sometimes when I do the figure-four the dude just rolls over and my ankle gets crushed underneath the combined weight of our bodies.

What Shawn recommended was just plain old heel hooks. The other foot technique he recommends is a belt-line hook. When he demonstrated it it looked like his other foot was resting on top of the other guy’s thigh.

As I walked home I was pondering why heel-hooks are better than a figure-four body lock. I think the reason is that heel-hooks give you control plus mobility whereas a figure-four only gives you control (which can be easily compromised as Shawn demonstrated). For instance, with heel-hooks you can just use your feet to push down on your opponent’s thighs to get him over onto whichever side you want. With a figure-four once you’re on your side, it’s pretty hard to get over onto the other side. If you can’t finish you’d have to somehow get your bottom leg free and try to scramble for dominant position.

What do you do with your hands?
This was pretty simple. Basically you should have one arm under your opponent’s arm and the other arm over his shoulder in choking position. The under-hook arm should “hide” the choking arm because your opponent will try to attack your choking arm. When Shawn demonstrated this he just grabbed the forearm of the choking arm. It’s pretty hard to get a monkey grip on your opponent’s choking arm if his hand is in the way. It’s like trying to palm a big lumpy volleyball that’s been coated in baby oil.

What do you do with your head?
Shawn really emphasized the importance of head placement. If you have your head in close to your opponent’s head it really hampers his mobility. Basically, if he tries to turn into you he can’t because your head is in the way. Also, it kind of hurts to have someone’s skull grinding into your ear. Another aspect of head placement is that if you have someone’s back, you want your opponent’s head below your head, otherwise you can’t really choke them effectively. The converse of this is that if your opponent has your back, you want to get your head above his head to make it harder for him to choke you.

How to counter a back-mount escape
The way I know to get out of back control is to

1. drive back on your heels until your head is above your opponent’s head
2. get your shoulders on the mat
3. when your opponent tries to mount by swinging his leg over, hook the leg and get half-guard

Shawn taught us a cool counter to this escape which allows you to maintain back-mount. I like this technique because you aren’t vulnerable to getting stuck in half guard as you are in step 3 above.

1. when your opponent starts step 2 above…
2. while keeping your hands clasped do the Homer Simpson walk backwards until your hips are facing the mat and your opponent is on his side
3. bring your shin against your opponent’s back
4. pull his torso up onto your thigh as though you’re cradling him
5. get a heel hook over your opponent’s body with your free leg
6. pull him back into back-control

As I’m writing this it occurs to me that after step 5 you’re also in position for an armbar, since he’s lying on his side and you have an underhook on the arm farthest from the mat. On second thought you would only have an underhook on his upper arm if he turned towards your choking arm which he probably wouldn’t do. I guess it’s time for bed.